OCD or Not

I consider myself to be a restless fidgeter, in mind & body, I struggle to sit still for any length of time unless, of course I’m really tired. My mind often works in over drive & at times my thoughts go to the dark side, slightly. An example of this was just before christmas I spent sometime with my future sister in-law & my nephew while my brother was away at his christmas work do. We were having a lovely day lining up & crashing play cars together, my nephew Max is two so this is normal. Lou then suggested I could have some one to one time with the lovely Max if she popped out alone to pick up dinner & drinks. This is pure gold time for me with those guys living in Bristol & me in Plymouth, what a treat. Max & I continued to play with cars, I asked him to show me where he slept, he showed me mummy & daddy’s bed! After a short visit to Max’s bedroom where lots of toys ended up on the floor we then read a book I’d given him, seven times in a row!  At this point over forty five minutes had passed since Lou had popped out, I’m thinking that’s a long time to be just grabbing dinner & drinks at the local coop. Perhaps Lou had to stop for petrol? Was the super market really busy? More time playing, more time passing by, It’s now coming up for Max’s dinner time, this is where my brain leaps to the dark side! Right Lou’s been gone nearly an hour now, that’s way to long, what if she’s had an accident? I’ve really no idea what to feed Max for dinner, If I ask him, can he tell me, he’s two so he will say chocolate, should I call my brother, he will of been drinking so can’t drive……and there’s some of the crazy. Turned out there was no need to go through the cupboards searching for Max’s dinner, or call my by then drunk brother as  Lou then came calmly into the house armed with goodies for the night.  Phew, relax & laugh at myself.

I dislike to much routine, I find it boring, I like to mix up my routes to work when I can along with other things in my life that become to routine. But god forbid If plans made change, this upsets something deep inside me, It’s taken me till the last year to be aware of this & I have to say I’m still unsure how to deal with It. As it stands, If it looks like plans are going wrong, be It that the time has to be pushed back, I can feel myself get on edge & become irritated. So to much routine is not good & plans changing I just can’t deal with, a dichotomy I think.

Then there’s my symmetry issues, I am happy to own them as mine. I like, no need, the table to line up with the floor boards & the chairs to be equally tucked in. To me It then looks neat but most people couldn’t care less. Pictures, mirrors etc must be straight or I have uneasy feeling inside. I will straighten pictures when I’m out & about as I think whoever hung them probably wants them straight?  I don’t think the world is going to end If things aren’t symmetrical, I just like it.

I’ve shared. Anyone else out there with symmetry needs? Let me hear your thoughts on ‘going to the dark side’.

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